Tips+for+Parents

= = All parents want to protect their children. When kids make mistakes, the first instinct is to swiftly correct it, because we all want perfect kids. But what is required first is patience and listening.

Let's say parents learn their child's good friend is drinking alcohol. If so, they must let the child know they disapprove of the act of drinking. A parent should not say, "I don't like that guy. He's a loser." Instead, we must focus on the behavior rather than personal qualities. Then the child will be more likely to discuss a friend's drinking without getting defensive. In fact, a parent should point out the friend's positive qualities along with the negative.


 * Next**, parents must teach kids the negative consequences of drinking. This includes the harmful effects of alcohol on a developing brain and body. In the process, parents can stress the child has a choice, and does not have to drink just because a friend does. They must explain to the child, "a real friend won't reject you just because you won't go along with the crowd." Then parents can ask the child to use the same logic with the friend. Parents can suggest the child say: "If you were really my friend, you wouldn't ask me to do something that could make me sick."

Another strategy parents can adopt is to remove the stigma of failure from the home. Young people need to understand that the only failure is not trying. Mistakes are not failures. They just give us new information that can help us succeed next time. We all need the freedom to be imperfect.
 * If** a parent is concerned the child is experimenting with alcohol perhaps spending more time together is necessary. Parents can consider planning joint activities away from home, school, and work pressures. They can try active listening, too. It is important to be sensitive to a child's feelings and problems, no matter how trivial they may seem. All the while, parents must maintain a "Zero Tolerance Policy" toward drug and alcohol use. They should never consider this normal adolescent behavior.


 * One** of the best things a parent can do for a troubled teen is place a hand gently on the shoulder and say in a warm voice, "You don't seem like yourself lately. Tell me what's wrong?" This one act can truly comfort a teen with affection and approval. By inviting closeness, parents can offer support. One might say, Come sit with me. Let's be together. Then the two can read a book, watch TV, or do something positive and active. Shared activities quickly open the door to honest communication.


 * A parent** who learns a child is using drugs or alcohol must stay calm and listen. An emotional outburst will only interfere with getting to the heart of the matter. Open communication is also essential. If one parent cannot control his or her feelings bring in a third party whose advice is respected by both of the parents and the child.


 * Parents** who discover a child physically intoxicated should not shout or use physical force. This will only make matters worse. Besides, it is impossible to reason with an intoxicated person. Instead, they must find out what the child has consumed and how much. This will help address the immediate health dangers.


 * Parents** should never encourage vomiting due to the risks associated with blocking the trachea (airway). This may cause the child to inhale the vomit, leading to suffocation. Rather, call a doctor or take the child to the local hospital if he or she is incoherent or seriously ill.


 * Once** the child is out of danger, a parent can tell him or her that they will talk about the situation tomorrow. The next day, parents must talk with your child as soon as possible. A parent shouldn't discuss the problem with a child if he or she is still angry. Also do not name call, belittle, blame or threaten the child. Rather, parents must guide this young person to grow in a healthy direction, not punish him or her.

© NIFAR 2009 ||
 * Lastly**, a parent should insist the child assume responsibility for this negative behavior. A parent must enforce the consequences of drinking or drug use with restriction or loss of privileges. Also they must find out exactly how the child came to use alcohol and who was involved. Parents should even consider calling the other child's parents. Finally, if parents suspect the child is addicted to a substance they should seek treatment without hesitation.
 * The author, Kamran Loghman, is the Executive Director of the National Institute For Alcohol Recovery (NIFAR®). He is an addiction researcher and expert on alcoholism, specializing in alcohol abuse, recovery, and prevention. NIFAR is dedicated to helping alcoholics quit drinking and providing support for loved ones impacted by alcoholism through its campaign STOP DRINKING 411. To learn more about drinking problems, alcohol abuse, or how to stop drinking as well as the latest recovery options, please go to NIFAR at @http://nifar.com.

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